Indian culture is often most well-known abroad through elaborate and festive weddings. From the mehndi to the mangal phera, Indian weddings are full of tradition, family, and fashion. The different events each serve a distinct purpose in joining the families, preparing the groom and bride, and celebrating. The multi-day affair, especially at Marwadi weddings, is all-encompassing and gives a look into the cuisine, history, and religion of Rajasthan.
While conducting my fieldwork in Jaipur I took three days off to attend my Nani’s (maternal grandmother) brother’s grandson’s wedding. Although it may seem strange for me to be invited to such a distant relative’s nuptials, it is very normal in Indian culture for the bride and groom to not know all their guests; traditionally the wedding is geared towards the parents and family rather than an individual focus on the couple. Indian families, like mine, are huge so it is common for hundreds of guests to be invited. Weddings like these become a test in remembering my relatives’ names, specific honorifics, and exactly how I am related to them.
I was very excited to attend this wedding because I had never attended one in India before. Furthermore, I am Marwadi which is an ethnic group from Rajasthan so I was eager to learn more about the wedding traditions and customs of my culture in the place where my ancestors originated.
Caption: Family at the Sagai and the courtyard at Rambagh Palace
The first event of the wedding weekend was the Sagai which is most akin to an engagement party. The couple will exchange rings which more significantly reflects the consent of both families to the marriage. It’s an opportunity for both families to meet, get to know each other, and historically this was when the bride and groom met for the first time. The Sagai I attended was held at a Rambagh Mahal — a beautiful palace that was formerly the residence of the Maharaja of Jaipur. This event was more relaxed and was basically an opportunity for everyone who traveled for the wedding to meet relatives and friends, have a small ring ceremony, and eat a ton of really great food.
The second event was the Mehndi which is where the families –mostly the women– have intricate henna applied to their hands. Mehndi is the Hindi word for henna which is a natural and temporary skin dye made from the leaves of the Henna tree. The groom is also meant to participate but men nowadays apply a nominal amount if any. The bride, on the other hand, will have mehndi up to her elbows and also on her feet. Traditionally the mehndi is a way of wishing the bride good health and prosperity as she makes her journey on to marriage. This event was again a way for the guests to all get together, celebrate, and get their mehndi done in preparation for the wedding festivities.
Next was the Sagan and Sangeet. These events signify the beginning of the wedding festivities and are also considered pre-wedding parties. While the sagai and mehndi are calmer, the sangeet is meant to be a joyfully loud and boisterous celebration. There are choreographed dances from both families, bride and groom, beautiful and bold outfits, and tons of food. Older women wore gorgeous saris while younger women, including myself, donned intricate and heavy lehengas. The bride and groom chose a Bollywood theme for this party and all of the decorations pictured them as famous heroes and heroines from classic Bollywood movies. The groom tried his very best at dancing in front of hundreds of people but the bride’s sisters did a much better job. The buffet options were never-ending with fusion options, desserts, traditional Indian food, snacks, drinks, and passed appetizers. I was stuffed 30 minutes in.
The next day was the day of the wedding and was supposed to be the haldi. Haldi is the Hindi word for turmeric and during this event, a turmeric and yogurt paste is applied to the skin of the bride and groom by their families to give them a radiant glow before their wedding ceremony. Unfortunately, it is currently monsoon in Rajasthan and a huge rainstorm completely flooded the streets meaning the haldi had to be canceled.
Caption: My family sitting in the wedding venue
Later that evening when the streets cleared we made our way back to the venue for the Bharat, Jai Mala, and Phere— also known as the wedding ceremony. The groom’s family (me!) all gathered outside of the venue for the Bharat. Traditionally, the Bharat is the groom’s procession to arriving at the bride’s home; sometimes they will enter on elephants or horses and always with dancing, drums, and lots of people. The groom rode into his Bharat on a vintage Rolls Royce. We slowly and loudly made our way to the unbelievably gorgeous wedding tent: decorated with flowers, chandeliers, and soft pink lighting. It took a while for the bride to arrive so we all took this as an opportunity to rest after the Bharat, marvel at the tent, take photos, and eat the catered chat (Indian snack foods) in the neighboring tent. There were imported fruits, masala chai, pakoras (fritters), noodles, soup, pasta, and so many desserts. The bride arrived about an hour later with her entourage wearing an incredibly ornate lehenga that looked beautiful. While the wedding party sat down for the long ceremony the rest of the guests walked around eating, enjoying each other’s company, gossiping, and getting more photos. The ceremony was mostly ignored by the guests. A pandit sits with thebride, groom, and their families reciting prayers and performing specific rituals. Most important are the saat phere (seven rounds). Each round a bride and groom take around the holy fire symbolizes a vow that the couple has to follow. Each phera signifies a vow that couples have to take for eternity. After that, they were married! The rest of the night was a gigantic celebration with dancing until all hours of the night.
Reflecting on my experience at this wedding, I realized how deeply rooted and vibrant Indian traditions are, especially through marriage. The elaborate ceremonies, the familial connections, and the shared joy showcased the richness of my heritage. Despite the modern influences and changing times, these rituals remain a cornerstone, providing tradition and a sense of community. Attending my bhaiya’s wedding was more than just a festive occasion; it was a look into my Marwadi roots and the values and traditions that shape our culture. Through these celebrations, we not only honor our past but also build connections for the future, ensuring that our culture thrives for generations to come.
Author: Diya Mehta, B.A. International Affairs, Sigur Summer Research Fellow, India
